Flames
by imjustwriting
Summary: He left scorch marks on her skin, blazing trails, like finger prints at a crime scene.


This thing was begging to be written. Hope you like. For those that are reading my other fic, 'Love Lives On' look for the next chapter sometime Saturday. I promise it will be posted.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own or have any affiliation with Chicago PD, its characters, writers, cast or crew.

**XXX**

Things had definitely changed since Erin Lindsay found herself at her old partner's door after a long day of dealing with federal douchery. Special Agent Lange had pissed her off in more ways than one and even though she had initially sought Jay out for some beer and comfortable conversation, she knew better as to what it really was that brought her to his door. His words from earlier in the day – rules and regulations no longer applying anymore, rang over and over in her mind right up until the moment he first opened his door to her. He saw her and she saw his stupid grin and she felt her stomach flutter.

He was a perfect gentleman as usual. He didn't insinuate why she was there, rather asked her if she wanted to talk about her day. And while that was the initial reasoning behind her showing up to his place at that late hour, it wasn't any longer. She didn't want to talk and when she told him this he turned towards her with a hopeful, yet nervous look in his eyes and she knew what was coming. She had been thinking about it since the night of her high school reunion when he held her hand for the first time and she gave him a promise of one day.

When he leaned down for their first kiss she didn't feel a spark, she felt flames. He left scorch marks on her skin, blazing trails, like finger prints at a crime scene and before her brain caught up with her body Jay had her pushed up against the side of a wall in his apartment. He kissed her with intent and meaning and when they broke apart she felt breathless. They stared at one another for mere seconds, his eyes cast downward and the corners of her lips pulled upward in the smallest of grins. He grabbed her jaw with the gentlest force and kissed her again - longer, heavier. Clothes came off in flashes like lightening and his arms cradled her against his chest and then his lips were on her neck and she was gone. He picked her up then, hands under thighs and carried her to his bed.

As she thought back to that night she felt the warmth of his touch on her skin again. And once she claimed back her spot in Intelligence, she left Voight's house with only one thought on her mind; Jay Halstead.

She didn't care that it was way too late in the evening because she had to see him again. She had spent every moment of her free time outside of work with him at his apartment, but somehow it still wasn't enough.

She knocks a few times on his apartment door and when he opens it she instantly smiles when he grins at her.

"Hi," her voice is soft and filled with rasp.

He opens the door wider, inviting her in, "Hey you."

She takes a step forward into the apartment, an air of comfort and familiarity lingering amongst the two of them. When she hears the closing of the door and a deadbolt clicking, she feels warmth spread to her cheeks. She has never felt nervous like this in the presence of a man before, and she would most certainly be lying if she said Jay Halstead didn't scare her shitless, but in the best of ways possible.

So she turns around without a second thought and snakes a hand around his neck while the other takes hold of the waistline of his jeans. Fingers through the loops, her chest pushed up against his. He gives her that boyish grin she is undeniably falling hard for and then she uses her hand at the back of his neck as leverage to pull him down to her lips. No spark again, just flames like the week before. An inferno not easily tamed and the only comprehensible thought that flashes through her mind is that she could spend the rest of her life kissing this man. Not one day, that's just not enough. She wants forever.

An hour later, they're under his bed sheets. Bodies trembling to regain composure, sweat beads on skin. Erin lays on her stomach, bare back exposed and her eyes stay on Jay's face. Her arms are folded underneath a pillow and he is on his back beside her, lips parted and breathing heavy.

"That was, um – God, I can't," his words float through the air up to the ceiling and all she can do in reply is smirk at him while trying to breathe right herself.

Minutes go by in silence and Erin lets her eyes drift closed. She feels his fingers brush her hair aside and then the tips of his fingers move behind her neck. They dance over the slight concave between her shoulder blades and down to the dip of her lower back. She shivers an involuntary shudder that feels too good, and opens her eyes. His own are electric, a dazzling blue and he wears a half smirk on his lips as he looks at her, almost through her.

He has never felt so smitten before with a woman in his life, but he is quite alright with it. Erin Lindsay is it for him – he is certain.

"What?" she asks him in a quiet tone, seeing the sparkling look in his eyes.

Jay loves her, he knows it and he has known for a while. But Erin is who she is and so, he shakes his head at her question. He wouldn't say those words to her, at least not yet anyway. It takes some restraint to not say how he really feels, but he is sure that if he did she would pull back. So he controls the urge to do so and just smiles. He will tell her one day.

"Nothing," he tells her, "You're just beautiful."

He doesn't feel bad for dodging her question because he still speaks the truth regardless. Her hair is tousled in near perfect waves, splayed over one shoulder. Cheeks flushing a carnation pink and her eyes glow emerald.

She could tell Jay had something more to say – she could always read him so well, and when he didn't tell her, Erin's curiosity was piqued.

"What's on your mind, Jay?" She asked him, voice assertive and eyes on his.

"I already told you, you're beautiful."

He leaned in then to kiss her forehead, hoping she would let it go.

She does, but only because she was certain he would tell her whatever it was in his own time. She wouldn't push him.

So she lets out a light sigh before a smirk takes over her mouth, "Well, I've got something to tell you then. To ask you actually."

He raises an eyebrow, "And what is that?"

She is hesitant then, inhales a breath quickly. She casts her eyes down for a brief moment before lifting them back to meet his.

"How would you feel about having me as your partner again?"

His eyes grow wide, almost blank in total surprise and his lips part as though he is going to say something, but he stays silent.

Erin watches him with waiting eyes, a hint of excitement in them, ready for a response to what she has just asked him. But she doesn't get one right away and his delay in doing so makes her swallow a sudden lump in her throat. The light that had been in her excited eyes only moments ago has now begun to dim.

"Jay?"

He clears his throat when he hears her call his name, "Really?"

Erin's brows furrow downward, "I basically tell you that I'm coming back to Intelligence and the only thing you have to say to me is 'really'?"

"No, I just – you caught me off guard. You're really coming back?"

Erin nods slow, her bottom lip pulled in between her teeth.

"I talked to Voight tonight. Before I came here. This task force just isn't for me. I really tried to stick it out these last couple of weeks, but the way they run things is so impersonal – cold, even. They don't care about the people as much as they care about their paycheck. And that's not me. It never has been."

Jay hangs onto her every word, his eyes never leave hers. But there is a pang in his chest, a literal ache as the realization hits him that the woman he is so ridiculously, stupidly in love with is coming back to their old unit. A unit headed by Erin's surrogate father, a man who will not allow them to be together.

If he wasn't feeling bummed out about what was going on Jay would laugh because the situation is so Romeo and Juliet, it's almost funny.

Jay thought the last week they had spent together had been the steady foundation him and Erin had needed. Stepping stones for them to get where he had wanted them to be since the first day they met.

He had become so accustomed to her showing up at his door after she finished a work day. Her eyes always holding a slight haze, her movements never rushed or hesitant. Words from her mouth soft spoken and sincere. She would slip out of her shoes, toss her blazer over the back of his couch, strip down to underwear and throw on one of his shirts. She would meet him in his kitchen, bare feet on the floor and he would hand her an open bottle of their favorite brew.

She had teased him earlier in the week, saying, "You really are the perfect house husband."

But their short time spent so intimately together had become routine and he liked it.

Jay had wanted and waited for their one day and now that he had experienced it he didn't quite know how he would be able to give it up. How he would be able to give her up. But it seemed he did not have much choice.

She was coming back to Intelligence, probably immediately. They would be partners again and Voight would never allow for Jay to be with her as long as they were working together.

"Hey," he hears her say quietly, "You okay?"

He nods, looking at her, "Hungry?"

"Starving," she moans.

"It's not too late. I'll order out. The usual?"

She nods this time and smiles, keeping her eyes on him as he gets out of the bed.

She can't help to stare at his naked body while he pulls on some sweatpants and makes his way to the kitchen to get his phone. She keeps her eyes on him, keeps a smile on her face. She realizes then, as she lies in his bed, how comfortable she feels being here with him. The normalcy between them, the routine they've created together, the feeling of home he gives her so selflessly. It hits her, though she is sure she has known for quite some time, that she has fallen hard into love with this man. Her partner. Her best friend. And her only regret about it all is that they hadn't met sooner.

Ironically enough, Jay has the same thought as he stood in his kitchen.

**XXX**

Everyone had been ecstatic about Erin's return to Intelligence that following morning, but Jay had remained oddly quiet throughout the day and it kind of bugged her.

But what bothered her even more was his constant decline to her invitations of hanging out.

Three days had passed from that last night she spent in his apartment and she hadn't seen him outside of work since. She had texted and called, trying to talk to him and felt like a clingy girlfriend in the process, but he never answered her phone calls and if texted back, his replies were short. He would shoot down her advances each time. She was unsure of what had changed and every time she looked at him she just felt more confused.

It was Friday and the team always went out after shift. It was their thing. While everyone was packing up for the day Erin glanced at Jay before calling out to him.

"Jay, you coming to Molly's tonight? First round is on me."

He shakes his head, "Nah, go on without me. Been a long week and I kinda just wanna sleep it off, ya know?"

She raises one brow at his response and stands from her desk to make her way over to his. She stands in front of him, hands on hips.

"You alright?" She asks.

He looks up at her, "Fine, just don't feel like going out."

She doesn't believe him and he can tell. She maneuvers around his desk and sits on the edge of it by his chair and leans down to speak low.

"We'll do Molly's another night then. Come over to my place."

He offers a smile, but it doesn't reach his eyes and she notices.

"Seriously, go out with the team. I'll be fine, Lindsay."

He pats her knee quick before he stands from his chair and goes for the break room hoping she wouldn't follow, but of course she does.

"We're on a last name basis now?"

He turns to face her, "That's how we usually talk to each other at work."

"No, it's not. What's going on?"

He lifts his coffee mug from the sink, "Cleaning out my coffee mug. What does it look like?"

She snorts back a laugh, "You can drop the act. It's just us in here."

"What act?"

"The whole 'I'm fine' crap you're putting off. If you don't want to hang out just tell me."

A look of sudden realization crosses her face and her face drops slightly when he stays quiet.

"Is that it? You don't want to hang out with me?"

He sighs, "I just can't. I'm sorry."

"You can't?"

He nods.

"There has to be a reason," she pushes.

"You really think it's a good idea? With everything going on."

She throws her hands up in the air.

"What is going on?"

"Nothing!"

"Talk to me, damn it."

"You don't get it. We work together, Erin!"

"So because I'm back in intelligence you don't want to be around me?"

"That's not it at all. I just – it's not that I don't want to, I can't, okay?"

She looks at him with glassy eyes, but she won't cry. She will not. Not in front of him.

Instead she mutters back, "Okay."

She turns away from him then and leaves him alone in the break room. She doesn't turn or look back, just goes to her desk and grabs her jacket. She'll drink it all off at the bar.

**XXX**

It is packed inside Molly's when Erin arrives. She recognizes many faces, fellow officers and others from the firehouse. Gabby Dawson is behind the bar. She tosses Erin a nod and a smile in greeting when she sees the detective. Christopher Hermann is by Gabby's side and waves at her.

When Erin takes another look around her eyes land on some of her own team members sat at a tall table against the wall. Adam and Kim are seated next to each other on one side, while Antonio and Roman take up the other. Glasses of beer sit in front of them. Erin walks towards them wearing a small smile.

"Hey guys," she says to them, standing at the end of the table.

The guys all smile in hello along with a nod of their heads before they start talking about some sports thing that Erin could care less about right now.

"Hey Linds. Pull up a barstool," Kim tells her with a wide smile.

Erin shakes her head, "Gonna get a drink first."

"I'll come with," Kim says.

Erin nods and the two leave the table to head for the bar.

Gabby approaches them from the other side with a glass of whiskey for Erin and another beer for Kim.

"Welcome back, Erin," Gabby says, "Those are on me."

Kim thanks her as does Erin who smiles appreciatively before downing the amber liquid without hesitation.

She doesn't notice the look of concern on either of Kim or Gabby's faces.

"Another please," Erin says, sliding the empty glass to Gabby.

The paramedic-turned-firefighter doesn't say anything, just pours another drink for the obviously upset woman in front of her.

Kim reaches forward and places a gentle hand on Erin's arm.

"You okay?"

Erin shakes her head, "Not really. But that's what alcohol is for."

"Wanna talk about it?"

Erin shakes her head again, "It's not important."

Kim gives a pointed look, "Has to be important enough to make you wanna drown it out with that stuff."

Erin turns her head to meet Kim's eyes and sees the concern etched inside them. She only shrugs her shoulders.

But Kim is having none of the obvious upset woman's careless attitude.

"Wouldn't by any chance have anything to do with why Halstead isn't here, would it?"

A long sigh comes from Erin's lips. Her eyes close for a single moment and her lips purse in hesitation.

"He's being weird," is all Erin gives.

"What happened between you two?" Kim asks.

"Nothing."

Kim gives her a hard stare, "You expect me to believe nothing happened with the two of you while you were gone? I was shot in the shoulder Erin, not the head. Don't mistake me for a fool."

Erin's eyebrows rise at the police officer's brash words. She takes a quick breath and then lets it out.

"Something did happen. And then it stopped. I was stupid to think this would change."

"What do you mean? What stopped? And you're not stupid. Just talk to me."

Erin sees the sincerity in the younger woman's eyes; she can hear it in her voice and decides to open up about things that had happened between Jay and herself.

She finishes relaying the story of the last week and a half and then sits silently, waiting for Kim to speak.

"I just don't think I quite understand why he can't hang out with you. I mean, it's not like Voight could really do anything. Especially with how you and Jay obviously feel towards one another."

"What do you mean?" Erin wonders.

"You know, his weird rules and everything. Not like they really matter anymore, right?"

"I'm lost here, Kim."

"I mean if you and Jay were together. Voight already offered to make one exception. Don't really see how he couldn't or wouldn't make another."

"Kim, what are you talking about?"

"When I was in the hospital. Voight offered me your spot in Intelligence. Said he'd make an exception to his no in-house romance thing as long as I was sure Adam and I could handle working together so closely."

Erin's mouth drops open in surprise. Her eyes slant and the look on her face is unreadable.

"Uh oh," Kim mutters as Erin rises from her seat and storms out of the bar without another word.

**XXX**

When Erin gets to the top of the stairs of the bullpen she sets her eyes on Hank Voight's office. She sees him through the open blinds talking with Alvin and makes her way to the open door.

When Hank sees her he smiles, "Hey, kid."

Erin's head shakes and she raises a hand to silence him.

"Did you tell Burgess you would make an exception for her and Ruzek?"

Hank's jaw goes slack in surprise as he and Erin keep eyes on one another, unblinking. Alvin sits in the chair in front of Voight's desk. His own eyes dart back and forth between the stare down of father and daughter, watching on silently.

Hank remains quiet for a moment, until he sighs. He knows there is no way around this.

"I did," he tells her.

Alvin intervenes then, quickly standing from his seat, "I'll leave the both of you to it."

But Erin stops him, "No, Al, you can stay. This won't take long."

Her eyes stay on Voight's as she speaks and her voice doesn't waiver when she says, "You can do the same for me and Jay."

"And why should I do that?" Hank asks her with a hard raspy voice.

Erin shrugs, "Because I know all you've ever wanted is for me to be happy. To believe I deserve better than the hand I was dealt. Because you know him and I were inevitable and as much as you tried to stop it from happening, it happened anyway. And because I love him. If you can't accept that then, well, I don't really care."

It's silent for moments. Alvin sits awkwardly, wishing to escape the continuous stare between both Erin and Hank.

When Hank doesn't say anything Erin turns for the door, but then his voice stops her.

"Erin, wait."

She turns around to face him with a raised eyebrow waiting for him to continue.

He sighs deep and heavy, "Can you handle it?"

The corners of Erin's mouth turn upward in a smirk, "We'll see you Monday."

She tips her head to Alvin in goodbye then turns and walks out.

**XXX**

Fifteen minutes later hard knocks on his door pull Jay from the television and bring him to his feet. He swings the door open and his stomach drops.

"Erin. What are you doing here?"

She doesn't speak a word. Just steps forward, closes the door and turns back to him. She pulls his face down to hers and kisses him hard. Her hands slide behind his head to their favorite spot at the back of his neck and his arms slip around her. Her tongue sweeps over his for a moment until she pulls back with a grin on her lips.

"You're an idiot, but so am I and I love you," she tells him. Her fingers grasp at his neck, holding him in front of her so he can't go anywhere.

His eyes close at her words.

"Erin, I told you. I can't. We can't -"

"Tell me what you were going to say to me. Last week, when i told you I was coming back."

Her eyes stay fixed on him, waiting, and she notices his hesitation before he inhales and speaks.

"I love you," he speaks quietly and she smiles.

"Do you want to be with me?"

He sighs, his arms still holding tight around her waist, "I want to be with you more than anything. But you know we can't. Not while we're both up there. It – it's just not possible for us. It's okay. "

She smiles wider, "I talked to Voight. We can."

He shakes his head, "There is no way he would let us."

"Well he is. It's already done."

He looks at her with unreadable eyes and stays quiet for another moment.

She has said the words, but he still can't believe them, "Really?"

Erin rolls her eyes, "Really? I don't ever want to hear that word come out of your mouth again, Halstead. We also kind of suck at this whole communication thing. Maybe we can work on that."

"Maybe one day," he grins.

She smirks, "Oh, definitely."

He brings a hand up then to grab her face and he smiles at her before kissing her with flames.


End file.
